“To love.
To be loved.
To never forget your own insignificance.
To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you.
To seek joy in the saddest places.
To pursue beauty to its lair.
To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple.
To respect strength, never power.
Above all, to watch.
To try and understand.
To never look away.
And never, never to forget.”

― Arundhati Roy, The Cost of Living

via Ileanananana

pandemie

Ich habe ein Buch mit dem Auschwitzüberlebenden Jehuda Bacon gemacht, dem eindrucksvollsten Menschen, den ich je erlebt habe und der sagte mir, in Auschwitz habe er erlebt, wie hochgebildete Menschen sich wie moralische Schweine verhalten hätten und ganz einfache Menschen wie Heilige. In einer solchen Krise kann man erleben, auf wen man sich wirklich verlassen kann und auf wen nicht, wer menschlich Substanz hat und wer nur oberflächlich überall mitgeschwommen ist.

Psychiater Manfred Lütz : „Der massenhafte Tod wird auch für Atheisten ein Problem“ FAZ

Ways to quit Google, Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook…

ways to quit Google: use firefox, install duckduckgogo as a search engine, make a different email address, use waze for your gps needs

ways to quit Amazon: find local bookstores, even chains will do since most of them would be much smaller than the behemoth

ways to quit Apple: buy android phones, buy any other brand laptop

ways to quit Microsoft: linux as an OS, OpenOffice, you know the drill…

ways to quit Facebook: replace whatsapp with signal, replace instagram with pixelfed, replace facebook with diaspora or minds.

montagnes russes

Russian Mountains were a predecessor to the roller coaster.

The earliest roller coasters were descended from Russian winter sled rides held on specially constructed hills of ice, sometimes up to 200 feet (62 m) tall.[1] Known from the 17th century, the slides were built to a height of between 70 and 80 feet (21 to 24 m), had a 50-degree initial slope, and were reinforced by wooden supports. In the 18th century they were especially popular in St. Petersburg and surroundings, from where their usage and popularity spread to Europe. Sometimes wheeled carts were used instead of tracks, like in the Katalnaya Gorka built in Catherine II’s residence in Oranienbaum. By the late 18th century, their popularity was such that entrepreneurs elsewhere began copying the idea, using wheeled cars built on tracks. The first such wheeled ride was brought to Paris in 1804 under the name Les Montagnes Russes

Rebecca Solnit – A field guide to getting lost

„Malcolm, apropos of nothing at all, brought up the Wintu in north-central California, who don’t use the words left and right to describe their own bodies but use the cardinal directions. I was enraptured by this description of a language and behind it a cultural imagination in which the self only exists in reference to the rest of the world, no you without the mountains, without sun, without sky. As Dorothy Lee wrote, “When the Wintu goes up the river, the hills are to the west, the river to the east; and a mosquito bites him on the west arm. When he returns, the hills are still to the west, but, when he scratches his mosquito bite, he scratches his east arm.” In that language, the self is never lost the way so many contemporary people who get lost in the wild are lost, without knowing the directions, without tracking their relationship not just to the trail but to the horizon and the light and the stars, but such a speaker would be lost without a world to connect to, lost in the modern limbos of subways and department stores. In Wintu, it’s the world that’s stable, yourself that’s contingent, that’s nothing apart from its surroundings.”

“The people thrown into other cultures go through something of the anguish of the butterfly, whose body must disintegrate and reform more than once in its life cycle. In her novel “Regeneration,” Pat Barker writes of a doctor who “knew only too well how often the early stages of change or cure may mimic deterioration. Cut a chrysalis open, and you will find a rotting caterpillar. What you will never find is that mythical creature, half caterpillar, half butterfly, a fit emblem of the human soul, for those whose cast of mind leads them to seek such emblems. No, the process of transformation consists almost entirely of decay.” But the butterfly is so fit an emblem of the human soul that its name in Greek is “psyche,” the word for soul. We have not much language to appreciate this phase of decay, this withdrawal, this era of ending that must precede beginning. Nor of the violence of the metamorphosis, which is often spoken of as though it were as graceful as a flower blooming.”

“In the same way, teenagers imagine dying young because death is more imaginable than the person that all the decisions and burdens of adulthood may make of you.”

„I think now that the suburbs were a kind of tranquilizer for the generation before us, if topography can be a drug. The blandness of ranch houses, the soothing lines of streets curving into cul-de-sacs, the homogeneity, the repetition, the pretty, vacant names were designed to erase the desperation of poverty and strife, to erase tenements and barracks and migrant camps and sharecropper shacks. What they wanted to erase, we unearthed and made into our underground culture, our refuge, our identity. We were shaking that trance off us and going out in pursuit of the world of our grandparents, us kids not so remote from a lost Europe, from the Second World War, from desperation and privation. That was what the city offered, a sharp antidote, the possibility of being fully awake, surrounded by all possibilities, some of which we’d learn the hard way were terrible. I am still a city dweller, but in those days when everything changed I first began going deep in the other direction. Another world was opening up to me in which night was for sleep and, far from city lights, for stars. I got to know the Milky Way and the sharpness of the shadows the full moon casts in the desert.”

„The young live absolutely in the present, but a present of drama and recklessness, of acting on urges and running with the pack. They bring the fearlessness of children to acts with adult consequences, and when something goes wrong they experience the shame or the pain as an eternal present too. Adulthood is made up of a prudent anticipation and a philosophical memory that make you navigate more slowly and steadily.”

„Nonfiction seems to me photographic; it poses the same challenge of finding form and pattern in the stuff already out there and the same ethical obligations to the subject. ”

„Worry is a way to pretend that you have knowledge or control over what you don’t–and it surprises me, even in myself, how much we prefer ugly scenarios to the pure unknown.”

„Old maps were tools of empire and capital. Science is how capitalism knows the world.”

„china was already part of the export market, so that the Dutch and Chinese both made ware that approximated what Europeans thought Chinese ceramics should look like ” (like Persian rugs, no originals exist…)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

17 decembrie

nu mai am prieteni

mai am doar cunostinte

un bebelus de 8 luni

si un copil de 5 ani

sentimentul foarte puternic de responsabilitate

de datorie

de iubire materna

si de irosire a potentialului.

ce scriam la 20 era extrem de arogant

cand le povestesc altor mame ce simt uneori se uita la mine mirate

ca si cum as fi ramas blocata undeva

inainte de nasteri

 

 

Sfânta împărtăşanie – Gherasim Luca

părăsisem uzina la 8 mai destrămat ca oricând
îmbâcsit de praf pe străzi lângă domni în blănuri
printre femei frumoase obosit şi destrămat
şi o scârbă umedă îmi umplea gura

doamna aceea frumoasă mă ochise din automobil
eram şi eu destul de frumos – scuipatul nu se vedea
ea purta păr ondulat şi automobil
prezenţa mea acolo îmbâcsită de praf îi provoca o tremurare suavă sub ciorap
şi până la uşa apartamentului ei luxos, automobilul a lunecat uşor

unde lucrezi, m-a întrebat în timp ce-şi scotea mantoul
de câteva zile la uzina de gaz
eşti un băiat voinic şi destul de frumos ai putea câştiga mai bine
până ieri timp de şase luni mâncam odată la două zile

discuţia noastră se putea prelungi la nesfârşit
eu scoteam din mine vorbe mirosind a pâine, a gaz
ea ciripea ca dintr-un pian deschis vorbe asemenea unei romanţe la modă

şi cu toate astea felul bărbătesc
cum se colţura pe oase carnea mea
făcea să ne înţelegem de minune
orele sunt înaintate, să ne culcăm
patul mirosea a cald şi a curat
doamna ştia să facă dragoste mai bine decât vorbea
şi mie îmi plăcea părul ei fiindcă aveam voie să-l trag
dimineaţa mi-a spus la revedere, dragul meu
(orele 5, la 6 deschide uzina)
să ne vedem diseară la 8, luăm împreună cina
lângă vorbele mele mirosind a pâine, a gaz
păstram o gură plină de scuipat
ea a văzut-o, ea s-a speriat
doamna aceea frumoasă cu care o noapte întreagă
m-am plimbat prin dragoste şi automobil, – dispăruse
în locul ei rumega o babă zbârcită şi cu ochelari care
citea de zor pagini din sfânta evanghelie