Susan Sontag – Reborn
„I marry Philip with full consciousness + fear of my will toward self-distructiveness. ”
„Whoever invented marriage was an ingenious tormentor. It is an institution committed to the dulling of feelings. The whole point of marriage is repetition. The best it aims for is the creation of strong, mutual dependencies. ”
„Marriage is based on the principle of inertia.
Marriage is all private – no public – behaviour.
The glass wall that separates one couple from another.
Friendship in marriage. The smooth skin of the other.
Rilke thought the only way to keep love in marriage was by perpetual acts of separation – return.
The leakage of talk in marriage (my marriage, anyway).”
Not sure what she means by leakage of talk.
„The sense of not being free has never left me these six years.”
„That’s all there is. There isn’t any more. The quarells + the tenderness, endlessly reduplicated. Only the quarells have a greater density, diluting the capacity for tenderness.
The people handcuffed together next to a dungheap shouldn’t quarrel. It just makes the dungheap a few inches higher.”
„I know I’m not myself with people, not even Philip – from that stems the constant sense of irritation, with him, with myself. But am I myself when alone? That seems unlikely, too. ”
„In a time hollowed out by decorum, one must school oneself in spontaneity. ”
„In marriage, I have suffered a certain loss of personality – at first the loss was pleasant, easy; now it aches and stirs up my general disposition to be malcontented with a new fierceness.”